Telecommunications Companies In Ireland

"Without fear of equivocation, it can be said that these technologies [information technology and communication] have impacted the way humans communicate, facilitating the connection between people and institutions worldwide and eliminating barriers of space and time. At this time, access to these technologies becomes a basic tool to facilitate the exercise of fundamental rights and democratic participation (e-democracy) and citizen control, education, freedom of thought and expression, access to information and public services online, the right to communicate with government electronically and administrative transparency, among others. This includes the fundamental right of access to these technologies, in particular, the right of access to the Internet or World Wide Web."

- Supreme Court of Costa Rica, 2015, link here


We have lived in Ireland for nearly two months, on Tuesday it will in fact be two months. We have been trying to get internet here since the week before we moved into our apartment, so around 25 Feb first inquiries were made.

I was rebuffed by Virgin Media - we don't do super fast broadband that far out. Eir told me I needed a bank account first. I applied with Vodafone, and now 4 weeks later, I've still not heard anything back.

I tried again to apply online with Eir, and also upgrade my phone at the same time. I waited until I had a bank account, and proof of that bank account, I waited until I had an address, and about 10 different versions of proof of that address. Passports are difficult to refute, but I was sure they'd try nonethless. This was 28 March.

The order went through, and my proof of bank was not acceptable - it needed to be dated. Got a dated statement, got it in within 5 days so our order wouldn't be cancelled.

The final hurdle was that our Eircode was incorrect, and therefore they couldn't find us to be able to deliver or install anything.

I went into a store (5 April) to talk to someone about this Eircode issue and discovered that instead of being able to update my existing application, they have to delete/create a new application because the system they have in store isn't compatible with what's online.

I am baffled by this, but the store clerk assured me that someone will be out to install a phone line so that then they know where to put the internet connection, and that that will happen on Wednesday, and she will follow up.

I get to Tuesday, (9 April) and realise that the new contract isn't the deal I wanted, so call the call centre, trying to figure out if they can give me the same deal as online with this new contract,
"Do you want me to cancel your installation appointment tomorrow?"
"Are you joking? This is the first real step of actual action since starting this process 2 weeks ago!

Man on other end of the phone is initially defensive and then apologetic. I give him an ear full about how long we've been waiting and all the hoops we've had to jump through to be able to get to this point. Two full months on mobile data alone is a long time!

He assures me that they'll still be able to give me the same deal, and that I'll be able to get my phone that I've already shelled out money for, and that the promised tablet as part of the deal would also be set aside for me.

Wednesday comes. I hustle home from work to meet installation guy. He found everything he need, but he can't install it as they've given him a number to install based on the wrong exchange. It needs to be off a different exchange. He sends a message back to the telecommunications company to that effect, I assume that there'll be another technician sent out.

Thursday, there's a missed call. I'm at work. I call back.
"Someone from Eir has tried to call you. They'll call you back shortly"

No call back.

Today is Saturday 13 April. More than 2 weeks after I actually started the official application, and just short of 2 months after we made initial inquiries.

Today, I've had the privilege of chatting with someone in Eir's online help. Or not-help as the case may be. They were more than useless. They could find my file and do exactly nothing else other than tell me that the account has been cancelled. What the actual fuck. No email, no follow up, no explanation. No record of the phone call on Tuesday.
"I'm happy to help you apply again online"

Why the fuck would I do that, for a third time???

Also, no refund as yet for the deposit put down on my phone.

So I have ranted on every available platform I can find. There will be follow up calls made at some point when their call centre deigns to open.

I have subsequently applied for 4 other companies, and I'm basically turning this into a race to the finish for a complete install of full and functional internet. I don't know if there is some sort of cheat-sheet to dealing with Ireland that I'm just not aware of but it is the most maddening, time-consuming, ungratifying, frustrating series of tasks that I've ever had the misfortune to participate in.

No wonder they drink all the time here!